Failures are part of life - everyone says. I know they are essential part but still why can't I just accept them. Why do they leave me in a down state. I failed today - I knew that chances were great for failing but still I am so down, so shattered, missing family, wanting to just go home, hide myself and then cry and cry and cry till it dries. But I know this will be really hard for me to shed some tears - why am I so shy to cry?? Why can't I just cry like a child...oh I hate being adult....wish I could become a child, just for few moments and could cry loudly, not thinking of public and just cry the world out.,...oh wish I could be a child.
I need to speak, shout, scream to let it all out.

Where do they go?

I wonder why people disappear.... where do exactly they go.... Is it not strange?? There is a time that you'll get daily phone call, emails, chats etc. and then suddenly nothing at all!!! And no matter how the hell you try to reach them, using all possible means of communication, you never get any response....I ask why is this so? It often makes me wonder....are they dead??? well sad part of answer is that they are not....they are alive....doing all their daily businesses but are coward, stupid bastards who have no COURAGE to say bluntly that they are avoiding you....but why the hell would one do that?? They don't realize that it's a SIN to USE others' feelings, to play with them and leave in a never-ending mystery.....why do they not speak up?
Oh well, this is the way they are....the worthless silly bases......

My first entry

There is so much in this head, in this heart, in every inch of this soul....all is desperate to come out...but I feel unable to do so........may be don't want to relieve my soul of this burden....why am I so cruel??
Well this is my first entry to this blog.....